. eXile international .

Because of You...... This happened!

2011-12-28T11:46:00.001-06:00

Friends and Supporters,

We hope this finds you well, rested, and enjoying some time with family and friends! We are celebrating a remarkable year at eXile international! We aren't sure we'll ever experience one like it again. And it's not over! Stay tuned for some exciting news on how your year-end tax donations can go directly toward a new project in Congo! Because of the contributions, prayers, and support of so many, we are excited to share the remarkable highlights of the past year. Even we can't believe it!
- Art/expressive trauma care was provided to over 1000 war-affected children, former child soldiers, and those orphaned in Congo, Uganda, Sudan, and Haiti.

- Trauma care training was provided to over 200 local leaders on the ground.

- Local counselors who lead weekly group work and counseling with the children are now supported monthly.

- The first dormitory has been built at the Peace Lives Center for restoration of former child soldiers in Goma, Congo by the boys themselves! (And we were able to hammer a few nails with them....)

- Over 300 shoes and shirts were given to children orphaned by the LRA or young girls who were victim to sexual violence and rape.

- We began our Sponsorship Program! We now assist 15 former child soldiers by providing education, health care, trauma care, and teaching peace building skills.

- We had the incredible opportunity to hand deliver letters to President Obama from children orphaned by the LRA directly to the White House as we actively participated with our teammates at Resolve in Washington D.C. through our Advocacy Campaign.

- Bethany was honored to speak by special invitation at the Child Soldier Education Symposium at The Hague in conjunction with the Thomas Lubunga trial at the International Criminal Court.
- eXile was recently chosen as the recipient of a $10,000 grant from Giving of Live! With those funds, we will be training local leaders in Uganda & Congo in the Empower Program to continue weekly group work with additional war-affected children. We will also be putting a down payment on NEW LAND at The Peace Lives Center restoration home in Goma, Congo.

We could not work toward change in these children's lives without your active support. We are over $14,000 toward our goal of $20,000 by 1 - 1- 12. Youryear end tax donation will assist us in completing the purchase of new land at The Peace Lives Center in Congo for restoration of boys & girls rescued from the bush and to train counselors to walk them into peace & healing.
You may donate here: http://www.exileinternational.org/onetimedonation.phpor become a monthly SING! donor starting at only $7 a month or sponsor the direct physical, emotional, and spiritual rehabilitation of a former child solider.
Thank you for making this life changing year possible in the lives of so many children.

Wishing you the happiest of New Years!

~ the eXile team

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eXile international
5123 Virginia Way st b - 11
Brentwood, TN 37027

"eXile international, inc is officially incorporated as a non-profit organization and is recognized by the IRS as a 501(c)(3)Corporation. All donations are 100% tax deductible. (EIN 26-3098725)"

My name is Innocent. I've been orphaned. It's Christmas. I don't need your money. I need your heart.

2011-12-20T15:24:00.009-06:00

I have to be honest. I sat down to write this email with good intentions. It was supposed to be the typical non-profit “buy presents with a deeper purpose to support our work and give your year-end tax deductible donation to change a life” email. But I couldn’t do it.

Returning the night before Thanksgiving and two days before Black Friday after being in five African countries was surreal. It seems hands are out everywhere, and we don’t just want to be one more hand.

What does it really mean to be Thankful?

What does it really mean to be In Need?

We saw hearts broken from war. Teenage hands holding babies born in the bush after being raped. Heads holding memories that our movies would not even show. And Joy beyond comprehension.

We not only came back with hands full of needs from children who have survived war, but spirits full of lessons taught to us by tiny hearts and young men who were once forced to kill.

Like Innocent.

“Mr. Innocent” as he calls himself. He is recovering from malaria as you read this. Once a child solider, he is now one of the leaders of the Peace Lives restoration center. He is learning how to live again, and he taught us more than we had to give.

Yes, there are needs. Massive needs. Homes that need to be built for street children. Land that needs to be purchased for more homes. Funds for training of counselors. School fees, food, and sponsors.

But as I sat down to write this, I realized…. They don’t just need our money. They need our hands and our
feet and our hearts. To only ask for money would be placing them in a position of a beggar.

They are not weak. They are strong. And we are blessed to serve them in small ways. We invite you to join us.

So in a silent way…. Our 2011 Christmas Campaign information is below. We would love to invite you into our journey beside of these children.

Be that
- a store purchase for a present
- a child sponsored
_ a monthly SING! donor beginning at $7/month
- a year-end tax donation
- a church/business partner supporting our work monthly
- a prayer or simply a heart touched.
We count them all the same.

From the eXile team and the hundreds of children we have been honored to serve,
Merry Christmas!

~ Bethany

exileinternational.org

eXile international receives $10,000 grant from Giving of Life!

2011-12-19T12:32:00.008-06:00

Sometimes you just want to pinch yourself!

A heartfelt THANK YOU to all of you who voted, posted, reposted and voted some more! 233 well deserved non-profit organizations and your voting placed exile international in the top 20. After a few interviews, exile placed 3rd and will receive $10,000 toward our work with war-affected children in Africa! We are very humbled and our board met this morning to begin discussing how we can best use this gift!

We have come to know the hearts of our friends at Giving of Life Grant

and we are more than honored to be chosen. Congrats also to Heartline Ministries and The Simple Way.

What makes this even more amazing is that eXile stayed in the guest home of Heartline Ministries while doing work with children traumatized by the earthquake in Haiti, and The Simple Way has had a great impact on our outlook and work with the world's most broken children. Read Bethany's blog written in August here:

Check out more information below from the website of

Giving of Life Grant :

Thanks again for your love and support!

the Gran

We’ve been hard at work here at Giving of Life for the past several weeks as we have been meeting with, deliberating over, and praying about our Top 50 ministries. During this first season of Giving of Life, God has already connected us with some truly amazing people. We have high expectations for this next year.

Over a six month period, we received 752 applications and accepted 233 ministries. Then our voters chose their favorite 50. After that, our Committee selected 20 ministries and chose three of those 20 to receive the major grants.

Today we are recognizing the top 20 ministries - ministries who stood out to us both for their incredible work and their sincere servants’ hearts. We are so proud of these ministries, in addition to all of the Giving of Life ministries, and we are thrilled to be able to bless them financially.

We are pleased to announce the following ministries as recipients of the three major grants:

Check out this video of our founders making the big announcement to the winning ministries:

The following 17 ministries are the recipients of the $2,000 grants.

Youth Missions International
God’s Littlest Angels
Josiah Venture
Children’s HopeChest
Hands and Feet Project
Women at Risk, International
ABBA Fund
The Mentoring Project
TentMaker Ministries

Sixty Feet
Daymark Pastoral Counseling
Christian Educators Outreach
Snowboarders and Skiers for Christ USA
Not this Girl
Wonderfully Made
The Chalmers Center for Economic Development
Music for the Soul

We could easily just leave it at that - these are the recipients; these are the grants; now we can cheer and call it a day.

But that’s not what we’re about.

Our Committee chose these ministries for specific reasons. Each one is making an incredible impact. We want to share some highlights so you can not only congratulate them, but also come to understand their hearts.

Heartline Ministries has been serving in Haiti for the past 20 years. Their ministry focuses on the health (both physical and spiritual) and empowerment of women in their community of Port-au-Prince, Haiti. They have a Maternity Center where women can come for weekly vitamins, a check-up, a healthy meal, and a class focusing each week on a specific area of care for themselves and their unborn babies. They also have a birthing room for women to come when they are ready to deliver their babies.
Ultimately, Heartline is helping to reduce the number of orphans in Haiti by equipping mothers with valuable parenting skills. This incredible ministry is impacting the community of Port-au-Prince in immeasurable ways!

The Simple Way is an urban ministry that serves in one of the roughest parts of town in Philadelphia, PA. Check out this great description from their profile:
“We are not simply interested in dealing with the symptoms of poverty but the disease itself.
It has been said, ‘Give a person a fish and they will eat for a day. Teach them to fish and they will eat for the rest of their lives.’ But we also have to ask who owns the pond… who built the fence around the pond, and who polluted it. And why does a fishing license cost so much?
Here at The Simple Way—we feed people. We teach folks to fish. And we also ask who owns the pond. May we continue to build the world we dream of.”

eXile International provides trauma care to war-affected children and former child soldiers in the Congo and East Africa through art and expressive therapy. Besides engaging these kids in musical and artistic activities, eXile International also acts as an advocate for the children who are suffering and do not have a voice to speak for themselves.

We ask you to continue to support these ministries, along with all the others featured on our site, with your prayers, words of encouragement, and even financial donations. These grants would have been impossible without the generous donations of people like you - people who care about the ministries serving hurting and needy people. You can contribute by clicking on the Donate button at the bottom right of this page.

Please join us in celebrating the work these ministries are doing, and continue to show them love!

Thank you all for all of your hard work and enthusiasm. Don’t forget to check back on our website to find out about the all-expenses-paid trip we are providing for two fans of a Giving of Life ministry.

Blessings,

The Giving of Life Team

Children orphaned by the LRA raise their voice....

2011-11-30T18:00:00.005-06:00

Over 200 letters collected in Northern Uganda. Many written by the same children who wrote letters last year. When the children learned their letters had been received by the President of the United States they cheered. They cheered because their voices had been heard. They cheer because they have been given back a voice. A voice is important… With a voice you can be heard. You can share and you can heal. They have been given back the voice and empowerment that Kony’s evils have sought to squander.

Primary to any trauma is the disempowerment one is left with. Traumatic experiences - especially chronic, traumatic experiences - can leave a person feeling powerless… defeated… unable to fight or raise their voice to be heard.

These children wrote letters sharing their story.

They raised their voice.

They were empowered.

They cheered.

Their letters express thanks to the US Gov’t for sending military aid to help seek and stop Kony.

Voices were penned asking for continued support to bring the LRA’s terrors to an end.

Their voices matter. I am so thankful to share that message with them. So thankful to carry their messages back.

I wish you could see their words. They have seen too much for such little eyes.

“Please help stop Joseph Kony.”

“Please help stop the LRA.”

“They burned down my village.”

“They have killed our people.”

“They tortured and killed my family.”

Then the details… The details they know all too well. I won’t share the details. They are too much. Too much for such little eyes.

My heart breaks for them. My heart overflows for them. I am where I should be.

- Matthew Williams

Greetings of thanks from Congo….

2011-11-25T11:27:00.012-06:00

….. and Rwanda and Sudan and Kenya and Uganda! I would love to invite you to take a short trip into my journal with the eXile international team in Africa over the past few weeks. See into the hearts of some beautiful children who have survived war. Watch for the hands of God. Listen for the songs of glory. Hear their hearts of gratitude for the support you have given. We could not do this without you. We are thankful! So are they!

CONGO Day 3: “I am writing this from DR Congo where we just left 60 boys who were once forced to kill. 60 boys abducted by 5 different rebel groups. Thirty of them are part of a program at The Peace Lives Center that exile international is excited to partner with. I don’t have words for today. Only an overwhelming feeling that True Life lives in the center of redemption, and God’s grace is an ocean that He is ready to baptize us in.

We have just come from the mountains of Masisi. Having to practically talk Didi into taking us because of recent violence and riots this week. A few aid workers were killed not long ago. We watched with full hearts as 30 once boy soldiers became men of peace. Last year we washed the feet of these boys following our art trauma program. We prayed for each one individually and gave them bibles. Their FIRST Swahili bibles!

Today we drove with them into the mountains and sat beside of them as they washed the feet of 30 more former child soldiers who are the next “peace team” to receive trauma care and peace building training. I watched Augustine as he sat at the feet of these boys; both of our hands in the water. Him washing one foot. Me washing the other. Both praying a prayer of peace. The water was as dirty as the depth of their scars, and the bonding I could feel with my spirit was untouchable. Redemption at this level is just breathtaking.

“We thought we would die in the bush, but now we are bringing peace. It is God’s vision”

These boys usually sleep three to one twin bed. Teenage boys. No mattresses. Their floor is broken lava rock and their beds are mats on bamboo sticks. But at least it isn't the bush. At least they didn't wake up next to their guns this morning.

But because of generous donations (and Jessie raising funds for her birthday in lieu of gifts) this year was different. THIS year, we built a new home for them! Side by side. Because of YOU, we were able to buy new beds with mattresses. Because of YOU we are able to make sure they get healing groups for their war trauma each week. A few more thousand dollars, and we can build concrete floors in the homes over the broken lava rock. About $7000 more dollars and we can purchase the land next door to build more homes one day! God continues to be faithful….

“The new boys in the transit center heard about the Peace Lives Center. They heard of the boys singing at church and living again. They asked to come. Many ask to come, so we pray for the room to take them in”

Thank you for helping us help them! We are deeply grateful and wish you a beautiful weekend of giving thanks with those you love. Stay tuned for more blogs, and we invite you to our next event The Snow Ball http://www.snowballnashville.com Dec 8th at Cannery Ballroom. Come hear more of our new projects!

His,

b

I am no one. I am everyone. I am you.

2011-11-24T04:25:00.009-06:00

“Is it dangerous where you are going?” I lay beside of her in her bed. We just finished a peaceful bedtime story. Her eyes get big. She loves adventure. What do I say? The answer is yes. Usually when people ask me that question I say “Dangerous is relative and we are always careful” But I look at her and remember the two aid workers who were killed not long ago in Congo. I know the elections are this month and that we have cancelled the trip once. I look at her and my eyes get teary. Man, I love these kids.

“Not SO very much!” and I tickle her.

Sometimes I feel like a girl with a dream. Sometimes I feel like a women with a burden. Much of the time I feel as though all that is around me, surrounding me, inside of me is too much to carry, and I crave to be held. To be normal. But I know that is not what I was created for. I was not created to be normal. A normal life isn’t always possible. But it doesn’t mean it can’t be beautiful. More than beautiful.

I see in these children the power of the redemptive love of Jesus. I see in them hope for this world. It is so much more than just saving a child from the bush or helping them to believe in themselves again. It is even more than changing the course of a nation by teaching them about peace, healing, and honor at young ages. It is learning from them. Knowing that if a child who has been raped by soldiers at the age of five can be a leader of her community…… if a boy of 10 who was abducted and forced to kill in unspeakable ways can later become a man who desires nothing more than to speak about peace and God’s love – then THERE IS HOPE. There is hope for all of us who have been wounded to be transformed into something beautiful.

As I type this, I am entering into a journey. (Rwanda, Congo, Sudan, Uganda) Typing out my heart over large bodies of water is becoming a favorite. On my way into something great and mighty. Into His heart. I am going into this trip asking not only to be used, but to be changed. I am not perfect. I am filled with selfish mistakes. I am a failure. I am a warrior. I am small. I am thoughtful. I am thougthless. I am intensely selfish. I am selfless. I am overwhelmed with joy and goodness - not of my own accord. I am no one. I am everyone. I am you. And you are me. And we are WE. And when we walk in the ‘we’ – the world gets changed.

We can do more together.

Me. You. Them. Him. Are you ready?

November Trip to Congo, Rwanda, Sudan, & Uganda

2011-11-15T13:46:00.001-06:00

Our team is currently on a very important trip to Congo, Rwanda, Sudan, and Uganda to do trauma work with former child soldiers and young girls who have been sexual victims of war.

On this trip, we will also be doing needs assessment research, meeting with our local leaders, building new homes for the former child soldiers we sponsor in Congo, and providing trauma trainings to local leaders.

Here are a few quick glimpses at special moments from our trip thus far. For more updates and pictures from the team, please follow the us on twitter by clicking here or on our facebook page by clicking here.

From soldiers of war to soldiers of peace...the boys at the Peace Lives Center in Congo.


Former child soldier in Congo washing the feet of another former child soldier as he prayed healing for his heart.

The new home we built alongside former child soldiers at the Peace Lives Center in Congo. Hoping to purchase more land next door and build more homes so that we can take in more boys!

Giving the sweet girls at the Dina Center Orphanage their new Believe t-shirts following our beautiful time of art therapy with them! They are such survivors.

We welcome prayer for Bethany Haley and Matthew Williams, our team members currently on the ground, as well as for the war-affected children and local leaders they are working with.

We appreciate your prayers and support so much!

~The eXile Team~

eXile speaks at International Criminal Court Symposium

2011-09-08T15:45:00.007-05:00

On August 24th Bethany Haley, Co-founder and President of eXile international, was asked to speak on behalf of child soldiers worldwide at the International Criminal Court in The Hague. The symposium titled, "Understanding Child Soldiers and the Need for Education," was held in conjunction with the trial of Thomas Lubanga, a former rebel leader in the Democratic Republic of Congo, who is charged with conscripting, enlisting, and using child soldiers.

What you are about to read is the speech that Bethany Haley wrote and delivered to a group of international leaders and changemakers at the ICC symposium. Please be aware there are portions that are intense and difficult to read.

We ask you to read what you are able to read - but, by all means, read. And keep reading.

___________________________________

"You are ten years old. You are asleep on the floor of your hut and the sounds of bullets wake you. You open your eyes and there is a rebel commander shining a light in your eyes. He grabs you and beats you as two other soldiers take your mother and father and tie them up in front of you. You have difficulty seeing because there is blood in your eyes and the light from the burning huts is blinding you.

You are terrified.

Terrified because of the stories you have heard of the LRA. Terrified because of what you think may happen next. The rebel commander is screaming something at you, but you can’t hear him over the screams of the other women around you being raped and the children crying. The rebel commander puts a machete in your hand. He is screaming at you that you must now kill your parents. That you must chop them. You shake your head and begin to cry. And you are beaten more and more until you can barely move. They begin shooing bullets over your head, and you shake with fear. Now you can hear nothing. Your younger brother is watching you and he begins to cry harder.

The rebel commander pushes you closer. Kicking you. He grabs the machete that is in your hands and begins to cut your parents with it. He tells you that if you do not finish it, then he will kill you in the same way. Even worse. You are beaten again and again. He is screaming at you,

“Chop or you will die. Chop or you will die.”

You see nothing because of the blood and tears in your eyes, but you close them anyway as you bring the machete up and down. Up and down. You feel blood splatter on your face, and it mixes with your tears. You keep your eyes closed, and you begin hearing the screaming.

Screaming of the rebel commander. Screaming of your mother. Screaming of your baby brother. Screaming in your head.

You begin to vomit because of the smells around you and the thought of what you have just done. You wipe the tears and blood off of your face and open your eyes for the first time.

You are ten years old. You are a boy.

You are in a daze and the only thing you can think of is….

“I am an orphan now. I am an orphan now.”

You look down and your have blood on your hands.

You are 10 years old. You are a boy. You have blood on your hands.

I, ladies and gentlemen, have blood on my hands.

We, ladies and gentlemen, have blood on our hands.

This international community has blood on its hands and a grave responsibility to save and rehabilitate these children.

Last weekend I was in Washington, D.C. with our friends at an organization called Resolve. They have worked tirelessly to see the LRA Disarmament and Northern Uganda Recovery Act become law and to see the strategy become a plan. But a plan is a plan, and a strategy is just a strategy unless action is taken. A promise is simply a promise unless it is followed through. We were there to continue to push promise into peace.

We at eXile international have many sayings. One of them is that in order to change the course of war, you must stop the bleeding and start the mending. With a problem so massive we must start with the smallest child and teach them a different way. To teach them about peace. To look into their eyes and tell them that purpose can come from their pain. To believe in them. To see them as the future peacemakers of their countries. To tell them that the very thing they thought would kill their minds and spirits is the very thing that can bring others to life. I love to watch their eyes dance when we tell them that. When you can see them start believing in themselves again. Our dream for them is not just for them to be survivors of war, but to be the leaders of peace in their communities. That is redemption.

That is rehabilitation. Rehabilitation that is needed and restoration that is deserved.

The last visit to Uganda we had asked the children we work with who had been orphaned from the LRA to write letters to President Obama. They were sitting on the ground around me and I said to them “I have told your stories to Senators and Congressmen. I have shown your drawings to Representatives. But now it is time for you to write to President Obama to tell him your story, in your own words." Their eyes became so large and some of them stayed awake until 2:30 in the morning writing the letters so perfectly, then asking him at the end of the letters to “now please capture Joseph Kony.”

I had the distinct pleasure of hand delivering those letters last Friday to Jon Carson, who assured me they would get into the hands of President Obama. We copied them before we delivered them to the White House. And as I was thinking of my time with you, my thought was this. I do not want you to see me. I do not want to stand before you with words and tears.

I have not been in war. I have not been forced to tear my brother apart with my teeth. I am not a mother who had to make the decision whether I would be forced to chop my son into pieces or know if he would be forced to do the same to me. I am not a six year-old girl who has been raped so severely that she bares the scars of surgery to put her body back together.

Do not see me.

I ask you to see them. I ask you to take a moment and picture this room filled with well over 70,000 children whose spirits, bodies, and minds have been ripped apart because of a type of torture that, as a psychologist, I cannot begin to understand.

I ask you to see them. Some of them died in the bush. Some of them were killed because they fell beneath the load they were forced to carry. Some young girls were killed after a gun was placed inside of their vagina and fired. Some of the boys were chopped apart by other children until they were dead. Some of them are still alive. Some of them are in the bush right now. As we sit here in our black and white dresses and our suits, and as the world goes on, and as the sun sets, and as the moon will come up tonight. They are there. They are here. Do you, ladies and gentlemen – see them? Can you hear them? We stood back and watched the genocide unfold in Rwanda. Day after day after 100 days. And when it was over, the world shook its head in pity and false penitence and said "Never Again." And here we are searching for Joseph Kony, 25 years and over 60,000 precious children later. Again. Here we sit with 300,000 child soldiers in the world.

I would like to commend the prosecutor and the International Criminal Court for your diligence and passionate commitment to this issue. I am excited to see what is going to come out of today.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the bottom line is this: Each day little is done becomes a day that another mother is forced to make the decision of whether she will kill her 7 year old son or if he will kill her. It is another day of a young girl whose brother is forced to slice off pieces of her face until she bleeds to death. I could fill the room with stories, but if nothing is done, there will be just as many or more stories this time next year.

Each day of doing nothing is another day of the world utterly and undeniably failing these children. These children that could easily be ours.

After reading these letters to President Obama I realized what they were really asking. What they were really asking was this.... Do you see me?

Do you? See me? Do you? Care? Do you really care?

“Dear His Excellency President Obama, We are the children of Northern Uganda. We have been orphaned by war”

“Dear His Excellency President Obama….

Do you. See me.

When I co-founded eXile international after I first returned from Congo and Uganda three years ago, I remember being unable to sleep one night. And I sat up in bed thinking, “They don’t know. There is no way the world knows. They can’t. I refuse to believe that the rest of the world knows of these horrific tragedies to these children and are doing nothing.”

I have since discovered two things:

Most of the people in the world do not know. And the ones who do know are either the change agents in the world who are not doing enough, OR they are the ones of us who are crying out and begging to be heard.

These children cannot come directly to those in the world who can stop this madness and tell them their stories. They are hidden, they are in the bush, they are in orphanages, they are on the street, or they are dead. They cannot be here today. Those of us in the middle do not have the power to put policy into action to bring true change and past promise into a peace. But we can bring the stories of these children and place them in front of the change agents of the world and say:

Do you? See Them? Will you? Do Something? Now?

Will I wash the blood from my hands because it is messy and dirty and it may stain my very soul in order to go to bed and sleep better tonight – or will I? Will you? See them. Hear them. Honor them. As if they were our very own? Because they are. They are not someone else's child. They are my children and your children and we, ladies and gentlemen, are failing them.

I ask you to see them. They deserve to be seen.

Not only are we failing them by allowing this to continue without doing everything we can to stop it, but we are also failing them and dishonoring them by failing to provide a proper means for them to heal and live again. Stopping the problem of war begins with the process of peace - starting with the children to teach them peace-building skills and with implementing consequences for those who hurt them and their countries.

At exile international, we use art and expressive therapy as a means to help the children heal from their wounds. You will see three of the children's drawings that I brought with me today. Two of them are drawn by children abducted by the LRA, and one is from a former child solider in Congo. These are their stories in color, and I would love to ask you to honor them by looking at them in detail.

One of them is drawn by a boy from Goma, Congo. He is one of 24 boys who we are now working with through rehabilitation. They are amazing. When I was with them, I asked them to tell me their stories. They came back the next day, and the leader of the group said “Bethany, you have asked all of us to tell you our stories, but we have decided to show you our stories." They proceeded to go outside the tent and came back with AK47s made out of corn shuck and sugarcane. They had carved walkie-talkies out of wood. They had bandaged their heads and had paper rolled up like cigarettes. And they re-enacted their worst nightmares coming to life. In the drama they acted out being at school and being abducted by rebel commanders. Being beaten until almost dead. Being taken to camp, being taught how to use a gun, and being told they "were men now". They re-enacted being forced to kill. At one point I felt as if I were in the bush in the middle of an ambush as they started acting out killing each other with guns and machetes that were carved out in tiny detail. They then re-enacted being rescued by MONUC, taken back to safety, and being taught how to live again. I cried. I cried for them. After the drama we asked them to sit down and one by one, we washed their feet. Then we gave them new shoes to wear.

I will never forget one boy. His name is Innocent. He is strong and brave and bold. He told the story of the rebel commanders getting on the backs of the boys to cross a river because it was too deep for them to cross by themselves. The commanders rode on the back of the young boys until they got close enough to the other side so they could swim to land. But in the process. One by one. The boys drowned under the weight of the commanders. Innocence kept saying

"And I. And I give glory to God for saving me. Even me. Even me. I did not drown with the others."

The most beautiful part of this story is that these boys have a dream of returning to their villages to create peace clubs and speak about peace and reconciliation. We are trying to make those dreams come true. They started that process this month. They are coming alive again. But there are thousands more of them in the bush and thousands more that will replace them if we do not do something.

Our friends at Resolve are working with Invisible Children and, through their research, they have found that there is an LRA attack every 28 hours. Every 28 hours. That is one of many rebel groups. These stories are still happening day after day.

I wear around my wrist a chain given to me by a child who was forced by the LRA to chop his parents into pieces and eat them when he was around 10 years old. You heard his story in detail earlier. I wear around my neck the scarf that we used to wash the feet of 150 young girls in Goma, Congo whose bodies have been used as a weapon of war. They are survivors and have scars to prove it. I wear around my heart a burden that I place before the feet of the world. And I boldly ask as I look into the eyes of all of the change agents of the world this question:

What will we do with it? This burden? What? Will we tuck it away in the corner of

“it's too big and too much of a mess, and it will cost too much money, and will it really make a difference anyway?” box and put the lid on and go to sleep in our beds night after night, and do the same thing again? Day after day? Would you if these were your children? Because these are your children. They are my children. They are our children.

Or will we say Enough. It is Enough now.

Frank Warren said "It is the children the world almost breaks who grow up to save it." You have heard brave and courageous testimonies from our brothers and sisters who are survivors of war today.

As we end, I would ask that we are silent for a few seconds. I ask that you would picture these children filling up this room, laying down their weapons and just whispering.

“Enough. It is Enough now. We are tired. Do you hear us? Do you see us? We are tired”

Step into their soul. Feel their sorrow.

Awareness without Action is an Empty Breath to a Dying Man….. or Child.

If they can experience such torture, can we not be brave enough to do whatever is in our power to stop it and to use whatever influence we have to give them the opportunity to live again?

Can we? Will we?

Thank you….."

For more information on the International Criminal Court trial of Thomas Lubanga, please click here.

To view pictures taken by Bethany Haley of the activities surrounding the International Criminal Court trial of Lubanga, please click here.

If you would like to learn more about two of our favorite organizations who truly SEE these children and spend every waking moment fighting for them, please click on their names below:

RESOLVE

Invisible Children

A House Party for eXile!

2011-09-01T15:53:00.004-05:00

On Tuesday night, Morgan Fite hosted a house party benefiting eXile international! Around thirty people came out to support the work of eXile while enjoying an incredible evening of education, advocacy, art, music, and film.

The evening included a live outdoor concert featuring Calla Horner and B.B. Kings house guitarist, Michael Vance. Guests enjoyed a picnic-style set up as they relaxed on blankets, sang along to the live music, and munched on Chik-fil-a, Moes, and homemade cupcakes! Later in the evening, guests were able to watch one of eXile's films from their blankets, as it was projected against the backyard fence.

Following the video, Executive Director, Bethany Haley, shared about her recent experience at the Hague, where she was invited to speak and participate in the activities surrounding the International Criminal Court trial of Lubanga. Guests were some of the first to hear about the exciting connections Bethany made, including meeting and befriending writer of "A Long Way Gone," activist, and former child soldier, Ishmael Beah. To view pictures Bethany took while at the Hague, click here.

Indoors, Emirembe Art, a collection of paintings by eXile's own Administrative Assistant, Morgan Fite, was on display in the basement. Her artwork is inspired by Africa, the movement for peace, and in many ways the specific work of eXile international with war-affected children and former child soldiers. Morgan's artwork provides a visual statement of the true heart of eXile international. It also shares the stories of many people and situations the general public dismisses, educates others, and cultivates action. To lay eyes on her paintings is to feel her passion, see her cause, and long to do something to make a difference. To view Morgan's artwork, check out her facebook page Emirembe Art.

In additon to receiving generous donations from guests, eXile sold merchandise, including our harambee beads, which are always available for purchase online at our website. Most importantly, however, the evening house party touched hearts, engaged souls, and cultivated compassion.

If you would like to throw your own house party to benefit eXile international, please check out our heART for Africa page on eXile's website by clicking here. You can also email Morgan Fite by clicking on her name or emailing her at morgan@exileinternational.org . She will provide you with all the information you need and is happy to answer any questions! By throwing a party to benefit the work of eXile international, you can bring all of your friends, neighbors, family, or coworkers together to enjoy a fun evening for an incredible cause. Most importantly, you can help us educate, advocate, and create change. Every heart we touch makes a difference. Contact us today if you'd like to help us engage your group of friends in the cause!

A special thanks to everyone who came to the house party this Tuesday to support eXile international!

Jessie Risman
Executive Assistant

I will not look away

2011-08-23T16:02:00.010-05:00

I am. Cold. I am. Amazed. I am. Bewildered. I am. Dizzy. I am. Small. I am. Thirsty. I am. Drowning In Something I don’t have words for. But I am not blind and I will not look away. I will not look away.

These past few years have been an adventure to say the least. But I come back and back and more back to the same spot. To the same place in the dirt. Looking over the shoulder of the drawings of the Savior and as He pondered before He spoke to the stone-holding crowd that surrounded Him. As He drew. And as He thought. And as he wondered before He Spoke.

And I am wondering and pondering and drawing in my own dirt. My mind goes back to a little girl I saw in Fido yesterday morning. She was around three. She was a beautiful Asian little girl. Her frame was tiny. Her hair was messy. She was looking up at her daddy in the middle of the doorway.

“Can you see me now” Smiling. Giggling. She was in the middle of everyone in the middle of the door way. For all to see. You could not miss her. Taking one step back…

“Can you see me now, daddy?”

“Yes, I can see you.” He smiles. Of course he could see her. How could he not see her. She takes one tiny step back again.

“Now, daddy? Can you see me now? Can you see me?”

“Yes, honey. I can see you.”

I soak in moments like those. I often take a picture of them with my heart. Seeing past them. Seeing into them. Seeing through them. Into something bigger.

Just coming from an opportunity to walk with the Resolve staff and advocates in Washington DC. Speaking up for the tens of thousands of child soliders and handing off hand written letters to President Obama. Some said many words. Some said few. Some drew pictures. Some stayed up until 2:30 in the morning drawing hearts and flowers. Many created handmade envelopes to go with them. Sealed with scriptures hand picked for “His Excellency President Barak Obama”. Some asking him to pay their school fees : ) All coming together to truly ask one thing. Through all of their words, they were asking….

“Do you see me? Do you President Obama? Do you see?”

“We are here and we are orphans. We have been suffering as children of Northern Uganda. The LRA came and killed our parents. Some of us have died. We have been in much aloneness” - Barbara

“Do you? See me?”

No, it wasn’t their words. It didn’t have to be. But that’s what they were asking.

Dear His Excellency President Barak Obama….. Do You. See Me? And do you care?

I am on this airplane hovering over what seems to be milliions of miles of empty, unknowing, untouched, blind water. And I am going to the City of Peace. The Hague. The place of Justice.

And I will bring with me these children’s hearts. And I will bring with me these children’s scars. And I will bring with me these children’s stories. And I will stand before them. And I will look them in the eyes and I will ask You. You ladies and gentlemen…..

Do you?

See them?

El-Roi

There are so many names to God. So many beautiful, powerful, strong, courageous, fearful, honoring, awing, lovely words for The Creator of the Universe.

But there is one that is my favorite. One that captures my heart and my soul.

El-Roi

THE GOD WHO SEES ME…………………………

The one. The Alpha. The Omega. The Spirit of the Soul of Living. The Author of Life and Love and all things good and perfect. The Giver. The Taker. The Breath of Love. The Creator of Kindness. The Judge of Justice.

He sees you. And me. And them. And He hears their stories and he holds them as they cry and he peeks into their future and He. He will not, ever look away. He refuses. He cannot look away. And He cannot stop crying for them. He cannot and He will not.

And I, my God, and my breath. Will not either. I will not look away. Because I see them.

I see them. I see.

TO CHANGE THE WORLD: Our First Magazine article! Thanks, Katharos!

2011-07-19T12:06:00.011-05:00

Thank you Katharos Now for the opportunity to share our heart in this article.

Sometimes something touches your heart so deeply that “doing nothing” isn’t an option anymore. It becomes more about finding a way to make a change than it is about finding excuses. Not because the fear goes away, but because the hunger to do Something is deeper than being afraid. My mind told me that the problem was too big. That we couldn’t make a difference in violence that had been going on for centuries. But my heart told me that the very reason young children are abducted and taught to kill is the very reason we want to save them and teach them about peace. Because when you are a child, your heart is delicate, fragile, and beautiful. It is a garden that can either be trampled and burned or nurtured and loved. I realized with a problem so massive, you must start with the smallest child. To teach them they are worthy. To show them a different way. So they grow to be soldiers of peace rather than soldiers of war.

eXile international was born out of a Darkness. In August, 2008 I went on my first trip to DR Congo with an organization called ALARM, Inc. On that trip, former child soldiers asked me to be their mother. Women tried to give their children away to me. I heard stories of boys and girls who were abducted by rebels and forced to murder their parents. Stories of women and children as young as 2 who were raped as a weapon of war. Stories of women who had their children stolen out of their hands by the rebels. I met children so traumatized that they rarely spoke and could hardly show emotion. We visited 5 displacement camps in one day with women just crying to go home. I realized that these people were not only living in true exile, but in emotional exile, as well. They lacked security and stability of the heart. It was a level of hopelessness I had never seen before. I had been to Africa many times, but Congo was like no other country I had been. I think for some people, its darkness envelops you in a way that bonds you to it. You leave knowing you have to play some part it bringing light to her people.
That's how I left Congo. But I didn't know what part I could play or how I would play it, until God seated me next to a three-year-old autistic Kenyan boy on the plane ride home. After two weeks of trying to wrap my brain around everything I witnessed, the people I met, and the stories I heard, this little boy profoundly summed it up for me. In a few seconds, with a few words, he made sense out of my restless thoughts. As he and I stared out the window at the magnificent clouds, he began to repeat something my heart needed to hear: "It is bigger than we are...It is bigger than we are...It is...It is...bigger than we are."
His words settled my heart and my mind. I knew God was speaking to me through this little autistic boy. Speaking to me in a profound and beautiful way that would change how I see the world around me, and my place within it. I thought to myself, "Thank You, God. It IS so much bigger than we are, isn't it? The heavens. And so is Life. So much bigger than we are...but the beauty is that so are You. And You, God, are in the middle of it all." I finally understood that God is in us and with us, through our tears, through our violation, through our orphaned journey, through our loss. He is in the midst of it all. And the hope of Heaven is bigger than the waterfalls of pain. I realized that I needed to stop wrestling with the question "Where are you in all of this, God?" Because the answer lies in the mirror. The question isn’t “where is He”. He is beside of them when they are afraid in the bush. He is holding their hand when they are abducted and running from rebels. He is right there with them on the battlefield and the bullets. The question is not “Where are you, God?” The question is, “Where are WE?” It is through becoming His hands and feet that He becomes alive in us, and we begin to live out the gospel in loving others.

When we begin living for something bigger than ourselves, we find ourselves. We find our purpose - our song. The trauma work we do with the children in Uganda and Congo through art and expressive therapy brings us to life as much as it does them. Much of the program we use was actually created out of what the Lord taught me through my own journey through trauma, depression, and anxiety. That is our dream for the children. That they are not only survivors of war, but that they allow God to use their deepest pains to bring others to life by being the future leaders in their communities one day. To help them to know Jesus – The Prince of Peace.

As an organization, our team has been honored to work with over 800 children. Both through trips we take to offer the art/expressive therapy program and in the support of local leaders on the ground as they do weekly group work with the children. When Peggy Cox and I founded the organization, we thought it would be a small umbrella of trauma care. God has opened more doors than we have the resources to walk through, and our team continues to be taught that it is by walking step by step that we touch lives. Not in trying to fix the big picture. It’s about touching one heart at a time.
My heart cry is for the children of Central and Eastern Africa and for anyone who others have given up on. I needed someone to believe in me in one point in my life. And because God never gave up on me – I will never give up on these children. I am not special. I am not amazing. I am just a small woman who is doing what I needed someone else to do in my darkest hour – to believe in me. Just to believe in me. Although I fail daily, my wish is to be His heart here on earth. I want to let the Lord use my passions to make a difference, to embed peace in once war torn countries, and to help these kids know that God is beside of them in their pain. What is your heart cry? What passions has God placed deep inside your soul? What gifts has He given you?

I have learned that we often wait and stand back to find our purpose. We wait for our passion to come to life in order to begin living, when He has already given it to us. Our passion is found in living out our purpose, and our purpose is found in living out the gospel. Being the hands and feet of Jesus and loving His children who He places in front of us. One at a time. That’s how you change the world.

Editor's Note - eXile International offers a variety of ways you can help support their work. Go to www.exileinternational.org to learn more about the incredible things they are doing and find a way to be a part of it!

http://katharosnow.com/index.php?pageID=4548_3

Bethany Haley is proudly Kentucky born and bred. When she is not seeing clients in her private counseling practice in Nashville, you can find her either playing with her nieces and nephew, in the depths of war-torn parts of Africa doing art therapy with former child soldiers or involved in advocacy work in DC. Bethany earned her bachelors degree from Freed-Hardeman University in social work, master's degree in social work from the University of Tennessee and her PhD in counseling psychology at Southern California University. She and Peggy Cox co-founded eXile international in 2008 after Bethany returned from DR Congo. She laughs loud, loves hard, and lives life as if she has only one.

Our Recent Trip to Uganda!

2011-07-12T22:07:00.002-05:00

From May 27th to June 13th, an eXile international team travelled to Uganda to work with the most traumatized hearts in the world. The team consisted of Bethany Haley, co-founder of eXile and private counselor, Jessie Risman, eXile's new executive intern, Jessica Kuhnemund, a flight attendant, Lauren Zumbrun, a teacher and peace education expert, and Ryan Carter, an entrepreneur and former professional soccer player. Upon arriving in Uganda, our team was blessed to be joined by therapist and EMDR specialist, Karen Gongola, and her daughter, AlleaBelle Gongola. As you can see, our seven team members came from very diverse fields, which allowed each to bring a unique skill set to the team. Everyone's distinct passions, experiences, and expertise came together beautifully to create a full spectrum program in trauma care. The irreplaceable role of each member of our team was proof that God had divinely brought seven strangers together to bring healing in a multitude of ways to the hearts of the children we worked with.

Bethany travelled to Uganda a few days earlier than the rest of the team to meet with potential partners on the ground and conduct research on the needs in Lira, another area heavily affected by the LRA. While there, she met with Jane Ekayu, an incredible woman fighting for the future of Northern Uganda's children, who invited our team to later attend a board meeting with her new organization, Children of Peace. Bethany also met with Carl and Julie Gaede. Carl is the lead trauma counselor of Watoto and founder of the nonprofit Tutapona, who eXile partnered with as we led a trauma workshop at HEAL Africa hospital in Goma, Congo this past January. During her time in Lira, Bethany discovered a group of children affected by this war in an entirely different way: children who were born in the bush to the girls who were abducted. These girls are forced to become the wives of the rebel soldiers at ages as young as eleven. By the time they escape, they often have already given birth to one or two children. When the girls return to their villages, they are plagued with the label of "child mothers." Their children who were born in the bush are often rejected and referred to as "choppers," because they have been fathered by LRA commanders, who are known for chopping off the ears, noses, and lips of their victims. It was then that Bethany discovered a whole new generation of children in Northern Uganda who would never be able to escape the past destruction caused by the LRA, because those men will forever be remembered as their fathers.

Sports Outreach Ministry

Upon arriving to Gulu, Uganda, the team was fortunate to meet with Pastor Aloysius, a former professional soccer player and the founder of Sports Outreach Ministry. When Aloysius heard about the abduction of children by the LRA in Northern Uganda, he decided to use his background in professional soccer to bring a unique form of healing to former child soldiers and war-affected children in his home country. He established Sports Outreach Ministry to utilize the relational and healing power of sports to reach the hearts of these traumatized children. Aloysius creates drills and games that incorporate a theme related to the children's life experiences. After playing the games, the children reflect on the experience of playing, apply it to their own life experiences, and then unpack a theory or principle to help them in the future. He also works hard to train youth in the program so that they can then lead younger children in the drills. Thus, the ministry utilizes sports not only to help the children heal from trauma, but also to build them into community leaders. We were so fortunate to meet him, to learn his techniques and goals, and to have two of his trained leaders join us at Village of Hope to conduct sports therapy with the children. Before meeting with Aloysius, eXile's trauma program had yet to incorporate sports as a form of trauma healing. We are excited to announce that sports therapy will now be incorporated as an essential element in eXile's program!

Children of Peace Uganda

We were honored to be invited to sit in on a board meeting for Children of Peace, an organization recently born out of the film Children of War, by filmmaker and director Bryan Single. eXile screened Children of War, winner of the 2010 Cinema for Peace Justice Award in Berlin, at Belcourt Theatere in the fall of 2010. Children of Peace was started by Jane Ekayu, a counselor who has worked with many of the children affected by the war in Northern Uganda, was featured in the film, and has spoken internationally on its behalf. Jane is a woman who shares the same heart as eXile international. Her passion shines through the look on her face whenever she talks about her dreams of rehabilitation--spiritual, psychological, and physical--for the children traumatized by the LRA in Northern Uganda. Jane is fighting harder than anyone in this world for the future of these children, to help them surpass their suffering as children of war and grow into Uganda's children of peace. In this meeting, we sat around a table with an incredibly talented and dedicated group of Ugandan leaders, listening to their dreams, goals, and plans for the organization. They were an inspiring group of individuals, fighting for these children on the ground. eXile is very excited to partner with Children of Peace on their journey to help rehabilitate and advocate for the traumatized children of Northern Uganda.

Visiting Displacement Camps in Gulu

Each of our three nights in Gulu, we visited a different internally displaced person (IDP) camp. Upon arriving at all three displacement camps, our team was enthusiastically greeted by the beautiful singing and dancing of the orphaned children who lived there. It was the warmest welcome and most vibrant greeting any of us had ever received upon entering someone else's home. In each camp, they set out seats of honor for our team to comfortably watch the passionate performances by the children. Some played African drums with sticks while the others danced with their natural rhythm. Their voices were strong and genuine as they sang a host of welcome songs to their visitors and songs of praise to the Lord. They sang with their hearts open. Surrendered. Desperate. Vulnerable. Pure.

After applauding their breathtaking performance, each of our team members briefly introduced themselves to the group of children. Bethany then gave the children a word of encouragement. She told them stories to give them strength and courage, expressed God's love for each and every one of them, and reminded them of the beautiful plans God has for their futures. Thanks to generous donations, we were able to leave the displacement camps with soccer balls, beach balls, paper and crayons to draw their heartaches, hopes, and dreams, and Believe t-shirts to remind the children that we and God believe in them.

Arriving at Village of Hope Uganda

After a few days in Gulu, the team finally headed to Village of Hope, eXile's partnering orphanage in Northern Uganda, who we support by selling beads made by the children. Founded by Cindy Cunningham in 2007, Village of Hope is now home to 154 children who have been orphaned because of the war and are former child soldiers, children once abducted by the LRA, or affected by the war in some way. The Village had gone through an incredible amount of growth and transformation since Bethany had been there a year before. At that time, there were only about 50 children who had to be bussed in to participate in eXile's trauma care program at the Village. Now, 154 children live in five dormitory style homes: Grace, Love, Mercy, Hope, and Faith. The sixth dormitory, which will be named Victory, is currently being constructed. In each of the houses lives a housemother, who serves as a caretaker for the children, cooking all of their meals, washing their clothes, and providing them with love and attention. Child mothers, girls who gave birth in the bush, assist the housemothers in fulfilling all of these responsibilities. All of the children attend primary school at Village of Hope Primary, and construction on a secondary school is just about to begin.

On our first night in the Village, the children performed welcome songs and dances for us. Right before doing so, however, they asked us to prepare one of our country's "traditional" dances to perform for them. We tried to tell them that America did not have traditional dances, but they did not take that as an excuse. So we decided to perform the electric slide for them. It was absolutely hysterical, but the children loved seeing us dance an American dance. After our performance, they shared the most beautiful singing, dancing, and drumming with our team. Many of our team members got up to join them, as they taught us how to dance the traditional Acholi dances of Northern Uganda.

Learning how to Truly Worship

On Sunday we joined the children, teachers, and staff at Village of Hope for church. Those who had never been to Africa before were astonished by the beauty of the children worshiping the Lord. Until you have been to an African church service, you have not seen true worship. The children worship with such a vibrant passion for the Lord. Their hearts are open. They sing to Him with their entire soul. They call out to Him in true desperation. They are completely vulnerable in church, indifferent to what others think, and concerned only with God's presence and their desire to worship and praise Him. We in America do not know what true worship is. What it means to be desperate and vulnerable in front of the Lord. So focused on Him that we are not afraid to raise our hands and our voices in front of others. There was much to learn from watching those children worship and praise our God.

The Birth of a Prayer Garden

Later that day, we began our week with the children by introducing a special project to them: a prayer garden. We found a place outdoors next to the church to create a peaceful garden, in hopes that the children would go there to pray, spend time with God, and rest in Him. We gathered all of the children together to speak to them about giving their burdens over to God. We told them that we knew they had experienced much suffering, but that God was there to take those painful memories and transform them into something beautiful. They simply had to hand it over to Him and give Him permission to do so. We distributed a bright colored piece of special paper that contained wild flower seeds to each of the children. On their seed paper, the children wrote a word, a phrase, or a memory that they wanted to hand over to the Lord. Then each of them went outside to the prayer garden and buried their piece of paper underneath a thin layer of dirt. After the children were done burying their burdens, the prayer garden looked beautiful. In between two trees was a cross made out of sticks, surrounding the garden was a perimeter of small rocks, and scattered around were larger rocks with the names of the houses, faith, hope, love, grace, and mercy, painted in red—a beautiful reminder of all the ways God would transform the burdens these children buried into great blessings.

Staff Trainings and Trauma Program with Children

For the next three days, we conducted trainings with the Village of Hope staff and teachers in the mornings on peace education, unity and teamwork, and caring for traumatized children. In the evenings, we conducted our trauma program with the children. All 154 of the children were split up into three groups that rotated in and out of the various sections of our program. Lauren taught about peace, reconciliation, and unity; Karen conducted EMDR and taught the children a variety of coping skills to help them deal with flashbacks and bad dreams; Susan and Lilly, two leaders trained by Sports Outreach Ministry, ran sports therapy drills and began to train the children so that one day they might lead the program; and Bethany and Jessie led the children in art and expressive trauma therapy. Each of these components came together beautifully in the form of a full spectrum trauma care program that eXile hopes to replicate in other places for war-affected children.

A Beautiful Ending and a New Beginning

On the last day, Ryan, Jessica, and Jessie led the team's favorite activity: washing the children's feet. As a symbol of leaving their past of trauma and suffering behind and holding onto their hopes and dreams for the future, we washed each of the children's feet and gave them a new pair of shoes to wear. The shoes were special, in that they displayed the colors of the gospel, which also represent the cycle of trauma. In sharing the meaning of each of these colors, we emphasized the children's ability to heal and grow from their pasts and what a beautiful future God has planned for each of them. Though they had to work through their heartaches to get there, by the end of the week the children were excited and passionate about their hopes and dreams.

That evening, we gave each of the children one of our Believe t-shirts to remind them that we believe in them, and that more importantly, God believes in them and always will. We spent that last evening singing and worshiping with the children, each one wearing their new Believe t-shirts. It was truly the perfect ending to our time with the children at Village of Hope. Ask any one of our team members, and they will tell you that they learned far more from the children than the children learned from us. They taught us what it means to truly worship the Lord. They showed us true faith, strength, resilience, and hope. They are our teachers and our inspiration, and eXile is excited to continue working with and benefiting these precious children.

Announcing "When ART Meets HEALING", eXile's upcoming fundraiser!

2011-07-12T21:48:00.002-05:00

My Best Friend, Scovia

2011-06-28T11:14:00.005-05:00

Her name is Scovia. She was the first child at Village of Hope to introduce herself to me. She said hello, and I asked her what her name was.

"Scovia," she said.

"What a beautiful name." I asked her how old she was, and she replied 14.

And then she said, "I would like to become your best friend."

At first, I couldn't understand what she was saying. So I asked her to repeat what she said.

"I want to be your best friend."

I told her I would love to be her best friend. She smiled, and I gave her a hug.

"What do you want to be when you grow up, Scovia?" I asked. "I would like to be a social worker," she said.

"And why is that?" "Because, I want to give hope to children in Uganda."

She said it just like that. Bold and profound. Very serious. Aware of her dream, and determined to make it reality.

She was a beautiful girl with a beautiful heart. And beautiful dreams. I had to leave to finish our tour of the village, but I promised her that we would get to know each other better soon. And I took her picture before I left.

The next day I saw her again. I waved and smiled as we were leading an activity.

Then in the early evening, the children performed their welcome dances for us. There is NOTHING like African dancing. The children are all so good. So rhythmic. So talented. They dance beautifully. From the soul. With passion and life.

During one of the dances, a lot of the girls on our team got up to join the children. I stayed back to take pictures of them dancing with the kids. But my heart wanted to dance to the beat of the African drums. So, I went up to join. Scovia found me immediately. It was a partner dance, and she wanted to dance with me.

I asked her how to do the dance, and she tried her best to teach me. I kept telling her, "I'm not very good at this," which was obviously true. But she just said, "No, no, you are doing good!" Another girl came up to me and tied a piece of folded fabric around my waist. The girls fold the beautiful African fabric around their waists before their dancing to emphasize the way they shake their hips. And boy, can they shake their hips! My attempt was utterly embarrassing.

Before we danced, Scovia said to me, "I have a letter for you." Again, I had to ask her to repeat what she said, but once she did I understood. She had written me a letter. I knew right then that we had a very special connection and that I would never forget her. I thanked her and told her I would get it from her later that day and write her a letter back. I gave her a big hug.

Then it was time for the two of us to go up in front of everyone and do our partner dance. The way it works is that two girls go up at a time, while everyone else waits in a line behind them. When the pair goes up, they stand by the boys who are drumming and face each other. They do one dance for about twenty seconds, maybe less, which basically requires shaking your booty (not that that's what they would call it!) Then, a girl blows a whistle to tell them to switch directions and face the line of girls waiting for their turn. This time, they do another short dance, where they shake their hips side to side as if hoola hooping. The girl blows the whistle again, and the pair returns to the back of the line.

I was of course awful in my attempt at the dance, but it was so much fun. I shook my hips with all I had. The girls were absolutely cracking up at me. They loved my embarrassing attempt at their cultural dance. And loved laughing at it even more. I felt so alive when I was dancing with Scovia. I rejected all of those feelings of being scared, nervous, or not good enough. I was not embarrassed. I just danced. I danced with everything I had. I felt more alive than I can ever remember feeling before. I loved every second of it.

The next day, Scovia handed me the letter she wrote me. It was folded up into a small square. I opened it up, and saw a page of lined paper filled with red writing. This is what it said (there was no punctuation in the actual letter, but I added it to help it read easier):

Hello my best friend,

I am Scovia who would like to be your best friend, and I know that God will make us to be friends forever. And I know that if you go back to America we will be praying for each other. And I know that God have special plan for your feature (future) and God do to I too. And he love you so much and I love you too. I will never forget you in my heart, and I know that if you go back to America, you will still come back and see me again. And I request you to send my greeting to your family and say to them that I love them so much. May God bless you. Thank you.

With much love,

Scovia Akello

I don't know her whole story. I didn't pry her to find out. I do know that Scovia was one of the original fifty children who lived in a safehouse before coming to Village of Hope. This was at least a year ago, meaning that she was only 13 then. And even younger when she was a child soldier. And even younger when she was abducted. She has no family. The other children and the house mothers at Village of Hope are her family. God is her family.

I wrote Scovia a letter, too. I gave it to her our last evening at the village. That night she was very sad. So I asked her if she wanted to come talk with me in private, just the two of us. She wanted to, and so I found two chairs, and we sat down to talk.

When I asked her how she was doing, she replied, "I am sad. I am very sad."

I asked her why. "Because you are leaving tomorrow. I do not want you to leave. It makes me sad."

I spent the next twenty minutes or so telling Scovia that she should be happy, not sad. I told her that although I was sad to leave her, I was more joyful because I had come to Uganda, to Village of Hope, and met her. Because we were now best friends. I told her that was a reason to be happy, not sad. That we should be joyful and thank God that he brought us together to be friends.

I told her that she inspired me. That I would carry her with me in my heart wherever I go. That she gives me hope and strength. I told her I would never forget her. And that I would be praying for her. And praying that God would bring me back to Village of Hope Uganda so that I could see her again and spend more time with her. And that when that day comes, she will be older and taller. Smarter. In secondary school. Well on her way to becoming the greatest social worker in all of Uganda. Because she is such a strong girl. With such a big heart. And so much hope. I told her she was going to be a leader and a role model in her country. That she would bring hope to so many children in Uganda. I told her to read my letter whenever she gets sad or misses me, and that I would read her letter whenever I felt the same. I took her picture, and promised her I would hang it on my wall next to her letter. So that I could look at them every day. Remember her every day. Pray for her every day. I promised her I would come back to Uganda, and back to Village of Hope. I generally hate making promises like that in Africa, because the truth is you never know. It's God's plan, not mine. But then, in that moment, I knew that God was going to bring me back to that orphanage to see Scovia again. To encourage her. To learn from her.
And then, I prayed for her. We held hands, and I prayed out loud. I don't think I have ever prayed so hard. So strong. So pure. Straight from my heart, out of my mouth, to God. I will never forget that intimate time I spent with Scovia that night.

You see, children like Scovia have been through more than we in America can even imagine. Their strength is undefinable. They have suffered, and God has grown them through that suffering. They are desperate from that suffering, and thus turn to God with every ounce of their heart. They trust Him with their whole life. They don't have parents, and so they really look to God as their Father. They are grateful for everything. They praise Him all the time. In a more beautiful way than we know here. With so much passion and love. Scovia is a beautiful, special girl. She is strong. She has hope. She is such a true leader and role model for others. She will be Uganda's greatest social worker. And she will bring hope to many children in Uganda. She has a beautiful future ahead of her.

And although she is only 14, she is teaching me what true faith looks like. What true resilience looks like. What true hopes and dreams look like. How to love. How to praise. How to be grateful. How to turn our heartaches into something beautiful. She is my teacher.
She is my new best friend.

And I look forward to the day that I am able to return to Village of Hope Uganda and greet her with a huge hug.

But until then...I will read her letter. Look at her picture. Pray for her. And learn from her.

-Jessie Risman
Executive Intern

Drama by Former Child Soldiers

2011-06-24T15:24:00.004-05:00

We are thrilled to show you our newest video! This footage was taken on eXile's most recent trip to Congo, where we conducted art and expressive trauma therapy with former child soldiers. When we invited the boys to tell us their stories individually, they decided instead to take all of their stories and turn them into a drama to share with others. What you are about to see is a dramatic representation written and performed by twenty-four former child soldiers of their abduction, training, and rescue.

We would like to thank everyone who helped to make our work with these children possible. Without your generosity, we would not be able to travel to Congo and East Africa to work with these special children. Your support is critical, and we hope that watching these boys perform their drama is proof to you of the lasting change you have helped to make in their lives.

See their hearts. Hear their dreams for peace. Watch them come to life as they draw their heartaches, hopes, and dreams. These are the future peacemakers of Congo. They would be thrilled to know that you are watching their drama. Enthused to hear that their stories are being shared. And so, we also ask that you pass this video along to others. Let their stories be told. Let their voices be heard. There is so much that we can learn from their beautiful hearts!

To learn more about how you can help these boys accomplish their dreams of being the leaders of peace in Congo, please visit our website!

There are no Coincidences in Life

2011-06-16T17:57:00.004-05:00

“There are no coincidences in life.” This quote by international motivational speaker, Nick Vujicic, has been heavy on my mind since I read it a few days ago leaving Village of Hope Uganda. Life’s intricate web, woven by the billions of people on this planet, leaves me somewhat perplexed. Is it just by chance or God-ordained that we meet certain people, turn left instead of right or have life altering experiences? This philosophical life mantra that Nick speaks of is challenging to grasp as I reflect on my trip to Uganda with eXile International.

I did not have the intentions of going on a mission trip to Uganda. It just happened that way. I was sitting on my couch watching TV when a friend called me and said that she needed a date to an event. Reluctantly, I agreed to go. I did not know what the event was for or who I would potentially meet. Little did I know that my acceptance of this invitation would completely rock my world and would put me on African soil only two weeks later.

Our initial team of five, for the most part, came from completely separate life stories. Our paths and personalities all converged and fit together like missing pieces of a puzzle. Each person offered a completely unique skill set that complimented our mission and the dynamics of our team. Our team grew by two as we met a mother and daughter in our hotel in Gulu. They happened to be working at Village of Hope, as well, and asked if they could join us. What a blessing it was to have them along for the ride. The mother, Karen, was a specialist at EMDR, which is a form of therapy. Of all the places in the world and of all the people it could be, we were lucky enough to receive a therapy specialist that would strengthen our program at Village of Hope!

Over the past 8 months, I have lost a lot of the passion I used to vibrantly show. My heart has been absent from the majority of my decisions. The past two weeks in northern Uganda have completely humbled me. I needed a fresh start or something to act as a catalyst for rebirth. I desperately needed to get rid of the old me and start new again. I guess rebuilding doesn’t come without some demolition, and it literally brought me to my knees. On our last night, I went to the prayer garden that we constructed for the kids and got on my knees to pray. I was silent as I recaptured moments from the past week: The intense joy that was found on the faces of the children at church. The laughter around a displacement camp as kids chased a soccer ball made of trash. The pain and sorrow in the children’s drawings of their past. The enthusiasm spoken by the kids as they discussed their hopes and dreams. A hug from a baby that shouted unconditional acceptance. The power of singing and dancing and the rhythm of drums. I was completely broken while simultaneously being built back up.

Every moment of my life led me here today. The slightest change could have placed me somewhere else. The same goes for our team members and anyone else reading this blog. “There are no coincidences in life.” Regardless of if you find this quote to be a definitive truth, I think the lesson we can take home is finding purpose, value and application to whatever circumstance we find ourselves in. God’s plan for us is much bigger that I can even imagine. I pray that I can continue to keep my heart open, allow myself to be humbled and let Him use me for a greater purpose. There was a reason why I got off the couch and went to the Red Party where I met Bethany. There was a reason why I went to Africa. There was a reason why I was brought to my knees. I believe these revelations are only the beginning! Lord, my heart is open. Show me. Use me up.

-Ryan Carter

I am not dirty anymore

2011-06-12T21:43:00.010-05:00

I am not dirty anymore. Not like I have been. Especially the last few weeks. There is no longer dirt under my nails that I can't keep out and my feet aren't covered with red dust from dancing in the dirt beside children orphaned by the LRA. I am not using a bucket of water and a cup to bathe anymore and children or drums didn't wake me up this morning. I am not in the middle of the bush in the middle of a village. Not in body....but I am there. I am there in spirit. Looking at Gloria and telling her how beautiful she is. How God is her forever father so she can never be orphaned again. I am hugging Joyce and laughing with her as she tells me that last night was the first night she has not had a nightmare of the LRA killing her family in "many many months". She is beaming. I am standing before a group of 65 children as they draw their heartaches (guns, rebels, blood, burning huts) and at the feet of a 9 year old girl as she tells the group how she watched Kony's soldiers slit her mother's throat from one side to the other. She was the age of my youngest niece when that happened, and I have to look away to keep from crying.

I am watching our team work tirelessly and seamlessly to fit a 5 day program into 2.5 days after adding a sports therapy component and EMDR/self soothing techniques to help them process their emotions in the middle of a flashback or nightmare.

And I am sitting in the dark. Sitting beside a tall strong boy who says he is eleven when really he is thirteen (long story behind that one). I am siting beside him on a bench under the stars holding his hand and telling him how strong he is. Telling him how much he is loved and asking him how he is.

"How is your heart?"

He has a harder time speaking English than he does reading or understanding it. But the concept of that question is just as hard for him to grasp.

He looks down and up and around. "I am good"

Thinking of a different way to word it. "Are you happy? Are you sad?"

"I am happy. I am happy, but I have a cough and my head is hurting sometimes. And I sometimes have the bad dreams"

This boy. This young man. This amazing spirit who has survived more than you and I and a thousand lives could imagine. When children were abducted in Northern Uganda, the first thing they were forced to do was to walk barefoot to Sudan - from Congo. Until their feet would bleed and often become infected (one of the many reasons we wash their feet). If they complained of something they were carrying being too heavy or if they fell beneath the weight, they were made to carry something even heavier or they were beaten. Then they were trained to kill. They were all trained to kill. On top of being trained, the girls were forced to be the wives of rebel leaders sometimes at the age of 11 or 12. Meaning they were sex slaves and raped. The only difference now is that it's happening in three other countries rather than just in Northern Uganda. And it has been happening for 25 years.

Their stories are not so different than his story. Forced to become the killer of the ones who gave him life. Forced to do horrible things to their bodies. Tortured in ways that are too evil to truly wrap my mind around. And now he suffers physically. Wanting to make sure he is taken care of.... I look at his shoes that are coming apart. I want to make sure he is well - so I ask as simply as I can so he can understand me,

"Do you need anything? Are you in need of anything?"

He paused. Looks up and looks away. He has a hard time looking anyone in the eye.

And he quietly asks: "You mean..... You mean from God?"

I stop. No. That isn't want I meant. But that's what I should have meant. Isn't that what I should have asked him? I asked what he needs physically and this boy-child assumes I asked how I can pray for him. Because that's what I should have asked him.

I continue to be humbled with how I am taught much more than I teach when I am around them.

"From God. Yes." Still holding his hand. "How can I pray for you? What can I pray for?"

He only slightly hesitates: "Knowledge"

Knowledge.

I ask him what he needs physically and he answers that he wishes for Knowledge. Wow. Reminds me of a great wise King who lived long ago.

"What else? How else can I pray?"

He thinks........ "For the sickness"

Yes, for the sickness. I wonder if he knows. Does he know how sick he is? Do any of us really know? Tests in Uganda are not like tests in the states. He won't get the same care here, but thank God for Village of Hope. I thank God for unbelievable dreams coming to life through strong women like Cindy who push through the unbelief.

I look around. I look up. The stars are so brilliant. The team is cleaning up from washing 154 sets of beautiful feet.... as best they can clean up in the dark with no electricity. They must be so tired. We have all poured ourselves out the past few days doing trauma care. So gladly. So willingly. I look down and I hold his hand tighter. I hate this language barrier. I hate it so much. It's deep and wide at times like these.

"Let me wash your feet. Can I wash your feet?" I ask. He smirks. We did this once before a little over a year ago. We both cried then. Some things don't change so much.

Almost totally in the dark now. Practically everything from the foot washing has been cleaned up. I pour some fresh water in a bucket and grab the soap. I kneel down and begin. His feet have grown so much, but his scars are the same. I wash his feet in the quiet. Under the moon. And I pray out loud for him. And I pray. And I pray. And then. I dry. Not just his feet. My face feels just as wet from the silent tears, but I don't let him see, and I wipe them away quickly.

Sitting beside of him now, he says, "I will write to you. I will write to you next week and give to Momma Cindy. I love you."

"And I will write to you. I love you very much and am so proud of you."

So much more I want to say. Speaking in tongues (specifically Acholi : ) would come in really handy right now. But sometimes the ministry of presence speaks louder than any words of wisdom. We stand up and I give him a big hug. Time to gather the Believe t shirts to give to the children! They are already singing and dancing around the fire : ) Never done this under the starts before. I like firsts....

Lord, if my tears could wash away their memories and feelings of guilt - I would cry rivers. But they can't. And somehow, it's in their suffering that they have tapped into a strength and a level of thirst for you that I cannot even fathom. Seeing them worship as if you are their breath. Hearing them pray as if they are desperate for you ..... makes me realize that they are. And we should be. And, oh my God, how they could teach us. If we would only learn. In surrender,

I am,

Yours. b

From Children of War to Children of Peace and Out of eXile

2011-06-12T01:21:00.006-05:00

There is something about finding someone who shares your passion. Something about the non stop talking. The completing each others sentences. The "getting it" not because of hearing their words, but because you feel their spirit. I find that rare. I found that in Africa. In Jane.

Her face comes alive when she talks about the dreams of rehabilitation for the children tortured and wounded by the LRA in Northern Uganda, Congo, CAR, Sudan. True Rehabilitation. Not just emotionally, but physically and spiritually. With skills training, education, reintegration, and advocacy work. As we talked (for hours) we realized that our hearts saw through the same eyes in what these children needed. We realized we had similar stories. We realized that God had brought us together.

Amazing doesn't begin to describe her. She has given her all in all for the calling God has placed in her soul. She knows how to teach survival because she has survived. And continues to. And will... continue to.

As the eXile team sat around the table a few days later with the board of Children of Peace.... born out of the film Children of War (2010 Winner of the Cinema for Peace Justice Award in Berlin), we were honored. Who knew such collaboration would be born out of a connection this time last year? If you haven't seen this film, you can now purchase it by clicking here.

The history of bringing us all together goes something like this:

~ Miss Lisa Dougin from Resolve: "Bethany, you have to see this film. It tells the story of rehabilitation of former child soldiers in Uganda" Lisa connects me with Mr. Bryan Single who lives in Los Angeles.

~ Finally getting to talk on my way home from a road trip, I pull over. Bryan and I talk for about an hour.

~ "We would love to screen your film in Nashville and we'd love for you to come"

~ Finding out Bryan's parents, oddly, live right outside of Nashville, we make plans.

~ He comes. We screen the film. Heart connection. The UN has the World Premiere of the film in NY. I go. I meet Jane - trauma counselor of a well known Rehabilitation Center in Lira, Uganda. She leads the viewer through the story of the children's healing in the film. She speaks after the UN screening in NY of her dreams of holistic rehabilitation for the children. Addressing their physical, emotional, educational, spiritual, and relational needs - all lead by local leaders. I knew we had the same dream.

Jane and I begin corresponding by email. Bryan and I start dreaming of how we can all work together.

Fast forward 8 months, and I am in the middle of Jane's home in Lira, Uganda. We are holding sick babies together, finding food for orphanages, and talking about blogs, logos, and how God can use our hearts and visions to collaborate a 10 year plan to develop a program to change the face of a nation. Or two. Or three.

The team sits around the table with some amazing leaders. Sharing the same hearts. Praying the same prayer. The prayer of leading them back to life again. To give them back what was stolen from them in war. So they can become Children of Peace rather than Children of War.

It will be a long journey and lots of support funds to be raised and prayers to be spoken. But we will get there.

"We can all do more together" said the President of the Board of Children of Peace.

Yes we can. And we will.

Check out the website by clicking here.

Listen to Jane speak at the International Criminal Court screening by clicking here.

The new blog for Children of Peace will be live soon AND if you are interested in helping develop a website for this amazing organization please email bethany@exileinternational.org. Let's do this together.....

Where do I begin....

2011-06-04T06:16:00.006-05:00

Where do I begin? So much in my heart and only a few minutes to blog....

Do I begin with the baby orphanage? When asked their greatest need and mentioned clothes, Sister Francis laughed.

"You know - it is the belly. The babies do not care if they are naked. They

care if they have nothing to put into their stomachs. What do I do if they

are crying and have nothing to give them?"

Do I begin with the child mothers - those who have been abducted at young ages and given to rebel leaders as sex slaves. They come out of the bush with babies. The youngest one we have met so far was 12 when she gave birth. I see shame in their eyes, and I want so desperately to tell them how beautiful they are. Each and everyone one. I want even more desperately for them to believe it

Do I start with the former child solders and children we met yesterday. Spending a lot time rained in with them. Trying to talk over the sound of beating rain on the tin roof. Time of laughing, sharing, playing soccer in the rain, hearing stories of survival. Looking at their scars as they danced in the dirt, as they played their drums. Watching them look down at the ground when we told them that God was with them in their deepest pain. Who am I to tell them that? Who am I? I have no clue what they have gone through - at 5 at 10 and 12.

Stories are just stories until they become your reality.

Like the reality of a young boy who was forced to kill a leader in his village - in unspeakable ways that I will spare you details from. He went through years of seeing him. The man he killed. He saw him when he slept and when he woke up.

"I see blood as running water"

He was five. When forced to kill. He was five years old.

Maybe I should begin with Innocent. Amazing young man of 15.

"I want to be white like you. I want to be like you. Life would be good then. Life is hard here.

Me "You are beautiful. we see more true life and joy here than we see in all of America some time."

He was orphaned by the war when his parents were killed and captured by the rebels. He was abducted. He is a survivor.... but he will not just survive. He will be a great leader one day. You can see it in his eyes. He wants to be a doctor, but he fears he won't succeed

Jessica "You will succeed. We believe in you."

Jessie "We will pray for you and never stop praying for you. We will carry your story in our hearts" Looking deep into his eyes. "We will not forget you. We promise"

Big promise. That will be kept.

When we left he started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't make out what he said. Soft voice. He took my hand... and I listened. And I heard.

I heard a 15 year old former child slave, possibly forced to kill, who was praying for three women getting ready to depart on their journey to another part of his country. Yes - HE was praying for US. And, NO - we will not forget him. Committing to make sure this boy is sponsored and empowered and loved. He has no parents, but he is such an amazing child of God.

Father - bless this week. As we go into Village of Hope and see these precious children that I have talked about to senators, representatives, and staffers in Washington DC. I have not seen them in over a year. Gloria. Norbert. Norman. Barbara. My heart leaps and my spirit fills with excitement.

Make us your instrument, Lord We are

Yours,

The Heartbeat of Africa

2011-06-03T02:31:00.006-05:00

There is nothing quite like an African welcome.

Whether it's waking up in the morning to the loud noises of all the hustle and bustle that is an African city. Boda Bodas speeding down the road. Vans honking their horns at them to get out of their way. Music blasting from the shops along the street.

Or entering an African village full of children running up to greet you, while smaller babies hide behind their mothers' legs. Children shaking your hand with the utmost respect as they kneel slightly or take a sort of courtesy. Others laughing in the corner with their friends at their funny looking visitors.

Or even visiting a displacement camp full of war-affected orphans waiting in a line to perform for you. Who have set out a row of seats of honor to show their visitors respect--a hugely important value in this culture. When you are greeted immediately by singing and dancing to African drums by the children. Whose voices sound like angels. Whose dancing is contagious. Whose rhthym is so natural and strong. Children who sing welcome songs, recite memory versus, and dance to the drums. Their spirit is vibrant and alive.

No. There is nothing quite like an African welcome. To make you feel warm and at home. To bring a huge smile to your face. To remind you of the resilience, beauty, and kindness that is the spirit of Africa and its people. It is a continent of joy. Yes, many Africans have suffered. Yes, there is plenty of pain and heartache. Poverty and war. Disease and hunger. Yes, there is devastation nearly everywhere you look.

But that is not the spirit of Africa. No. Africa survives all of that and more. And it does not only survive. It is resilient beyond our ability to comprehend. It is joyful. It is vibrantly alive. And more overflowing with God's presence, love and grace than anywhere else in the world I have seen.

Why is Africa so resilient despite their suffering? I'm sure there are plenty of explanations. But what I see is hope--hope in a better future. Faith--faith in God. That he will not forsake them. That he will always provide for them. That He is with them always. Love--love for those who have harmed them. Love for life. Love for God. More love for Him than I have ever seen. Their hearts are full of love. Dreams--dreams of a peaceful and thriving Africa. Praise--praise for God in the midst of suffering. Praise for His faithfulness and His love. Life--they are alive. In a way that we Americans do not know how to be. In a way that is present and lives in the now rather than worrying about the future. Alive with such passion for life and for living it for one purpose: for God.

When I am here, I hear Africa's heartbeat. Its sound mimics that of the African drums. It is bold in how it lives for Jesus. It is steady in how it pushes forward with resilience after pain. It is strong in that it never gives up. And it is powerful in its faith and hope in the Lord and its courage to trust everything in His hands.

Africa's heartbeat is the beat that God meant each of our hearts to have. It teaches me so much every time I am fortunate enough to hear it. It reminds me of the people we were all created to be. Of the community that we should be.

When many think of Africa, they think of devastation, corruption, and un-fixable problems like poverty, war, and disease. When I think of Africa, I think of my teacher. I think of a spirit entirely indestructible. A people so resilient and strong that nothing could possibly beat down their hope or joy. A people who know the Lord so deeply that they don't just say life will get better someday. They believe with every ounce of their hearts that God is there. He is working. And He will lead them through this with His love, grace, and mercy.

When I hear the true heartbeat of Africa, I pray that the rest of the world would hear it, too. That we would all mold our hearts to better fit that beautiful rhythm of the African drums. That we would somehow all come together and adopt Africa's spirit as our own. How much more powerful and alive would we be? How much more on fire for God would we be?

What would our world look like if all of humanity's hearts danced to the beat of the African drums? My guess is a lot more like heaven. And a lot more like the heart of all hearts. The heart of our Father.

The heartbeat of Africa gives me hope. And even though white girls can't dance--proven today by myself and my teammates who tried to join in dancing with the children in the displacement camp--this is a beat that we are all capable of dancing to. We simply have to open our hearts, trust completely in God, and slowly move one foot in front of the other until we pick up the rhythm.

Tonight I pray that all the world let Africa be its teacher. That we would all stand up, listen carefully, and start dancing to the beat of the African drums. Besides...white girls will never be able to dance if we don't try :)

-Jessie

Executive Intern
eXile international

http://www.exileinternaional.org

Back in Uganda

2011-06-01T11:16:00.002-05:00

It's becoming old hat. I wonder where that phrase came from. I don't know, but I hope it never applies to me. Driving down this Ugandan road to Gulu from Lira coming fromKampala after Entebee... and Amsterdam....and Detroit.... from Nashville. In three days. I have started coming up by myself a few days before or staying a few days after the team to meet with potential partners, finding needs and understanding culture (team gets in today!). I love it so much. I find the time richer and deeper. But I am tried. But not really. What I actually am is Full. Filled to overflowing with stories. Of numbers. Of sights and sounds and smells and lives lost that are floating around me in this green and beautiful bush I am riding through. Bosco drives. He loves listening to the Grease Lightening sound track and laughs at me so much when I belt out every word. "I love this so much!" He says "Have you seen the movie?" I ask "The movie? No? There is a movie?!" I smile and look out the window again.

I often ask my nieces what they are thinking about when I catch them drifting off (I miss them so much more when I'm away). I love hearing their response. For me? Now?

I'm thinking of John who told me about his wonderful program in Lira that teaches those who are not able to feed their families how to farm. He is driven and articulate and intelligent. I watch him tell me of his dreams for his people. He is missing his right ear. I know how he lost it. I don't have to ask - nor would I. The LRA is known for chopping off the ears and lips of its victims. But he lives on. He lives in color. He lives in hope.

I am thinking of Justin. The driver of our car who took us to Kampala. The minute we were alone in the car he started sharing. "I am from Gulu, you know?" I only have to ask a few questions and he begins, "Even I am war-affected. You know, they would come into the schools and they would take you. They would chop the children and force the others to kill their teachers. Even they would make you eat her flesh"

"I am so sorry. So sorry, Justin."

He points to his hand. He is missing the top of a finger. "Even I was abducted for 2 days" Showing me his finger. "It was a bomb. It took my finger"

"How old were you"

"I was 13"

Riding along. Bosco asks me if I am hungry. No. No - I am not hungry. I am sad. I am hopeful. I am full. I look out the window again imaging when the LRA was raiding this land and the 60,000 children in Uganda alone that I heard yesterday were either killed or abducted. I think of Congo were Kony is now. I think of Kinshasha, DRC where I was told yesterday that there were 10,000 street children abandoned by their parents who wrongly have accused them of being witches and sorcerers. They blame them for their poverty and they have abandoned them to the streets. I think of the 5000 child soldiers who are apparently going to be released to their villages in the next year in Sudan. What is there for these children to begin their healing? They will be rejected by their villagers and will be forced to be street children. But there is an answer.

I remember the three year old boy yesterday I saw on Jane's computer. He was born in the bush by a young girl forced to be a sex slave to Joseph Kony himself. There are thousands of them - these children born in the bush after abduction of the girls. They only know life in the bush. They are called "the choppers" because they are the offspring of a rebel commander. They range in age of around 3 - 10 years old. This little boy in particular?

This boy resembles his father - Joseph Kony - in an obvious way.

"They say that all of Kony's children resemble him. They say none of them that resemble the mother"

"How many are there?" How many children does Kony have?"

"He has had around 70 girls as wives. Many of them have had 2 - 3 children. They say he has 150 children. You know, if we do not teach the children differently. If we do not help their hearts heal. What will happen? We will have thousands more Konys"

I have fallen asleep. Deep needed sleep. Dreaming of many things. I open my eyes and the sunset is amazing. It captures my heart and I smile. I think.....

"Your love is as faithful as the sunrise and as soothing as the sunset. I will not fear. I will hope. I will believe."

Father, if I love these children as deeply as I do, I can only imagine how much you love them. Use these next few weeks not only to change me, but to use me. To use our team. Use our words. Use our hands. I don't want this to be old hat. I never want my heart to stop breaking. I never want to be hardened. I was at one point. Hardened. Thinking I would never thaw out. I praise you for breaking me. I praise you for unthawing me. I praise you for never giving up on me.

I will, my God and my Father, never ever give up on you. I am

Yours, b

2011-05-08T22:44:00.013-05:00

We are so excited for our upcoming event, The Red Party, hosted by our great friends at Giving Back is the New Black this Thursday, May 12th from 7 - 10pm at The ICON. It will be a magical night filled with new friends, great music, fine food, and support for our rehabilitative work with former child soldiers and war-affected children in Africa.

We are thrilled to be screening a video of the former child soldiers we most recently worked with in Congo. They will be telling you their own stories through their own reenactment of abduction, training, war-fare, and rescue. We will also be announcing our latest project on the ground in DR Congo!

To celebrate this night - we will be premiering our latest line of jewelry - The Amani. It is unique, handmade, and continues to speak of the beauty of redemption for all who wear it.

Details of the night:
Thursday, May 12th 7pm @ the ICON in the Gulch
Come enjoy...
Food from: Cantina Laredo
Drinks from: Cabin Fever Whiskey & more
Sounds by: DJ Ryan Burleson
Free valet parking at the ICON
**Show your support by wearing RED!**

If you are unable to attend, we invite you to consider donating toward our work with these children on our upcoming trip to Uganda in three weeks! You may do so by clicking here!

We look forward to seeing you Thursday night at The Red Party and thank you in advance for all of your support!

-the eXile team

Give a Gift with Meaning This Mother's Day!

2011-04-27T07:26:00.029-05:00

Mothers have a special place in our hearts! We have seen the power of a mother’s touch around the world. We have had women ask us to bring their baby some place safe, and we have had orphaned children ask us to be their mothers. The place a mother holds in a child’s heart is beautiful.

This Mother’s Day we know you are in search of a special gift. eXile international is proud to premiere our newest limited supply of Chunky Harambee Necklaces!

These handmade, one of a kind necklaces are the perfect gift for all mothers! Not only are they gorgeous works of art, but they have a deeper meaning! These special necklaces are made by women who have survived war in Northern Uganda. You may also choose from our other bracelets or necklaces made by the hands of former child soldiers, widows from war, or children who have been rescued from rebel armies.

These beads are made out of paper that most would throw away, but these women and children make something beautiful from them. This is the story of their lives. This is the story of redemption.

If you would like to purchase a Chunky Necklace or other products from eXile international click here

Limited supplies so don’t delay!

Thank you for your prayers and support!

-       The eXile team

p.s. We leave on our next trip to Uganda in 5 weeks! Your donations are welcomed and deeply appreciated. You may make a one-time donation or sign up for monthly giving here or mail to 5123 Virginia Way st b - 11 Brentwood, TN 37027

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eXile international, inc is officially incorporated as a non-profit organization and is recognized by the IRS as a 501(c)(3) Corporation. All donations are 100% tax deductible.

The Story

2011-04-07T10:58:00.008-05:00

There is a story of a little girl in Congo. Her name is Yvette. When she was two years old she was found in the bush bleeding. Her mother picked her up and placed her in the arms of a man who was visiting the country. She had been raped by rebel soldiers. I saw her and her mother about a month ago. She is well and strong and loves God. She will be a great leader and woman of God. Why?

Because someone believed in her. Because someone believed she was bigger than her past and stronger than her greatest pain.

Because of that moment, there is a center eXile partner's with called the Dina Center specifically for girls who have been sexually violated because of the wars in Congo.

There is a story of a boy in Uganda. His name is Norbert. When he was around 10 years old he was abducted from his village and forced to killed his parents. With a machete. I saw him last year and he put a tiny chain on my wrist to remember him by as we walked back to our huts hand and hand. It was after he had so bravely and tearfully told his story of heartache in front of many other children who had experienced similar pain.

I washed his feet as he cried. And I cried too.

He is now a teenager at Village of Hope Orphanage in Gulu, Uganda. He is there

Because someone believed in him. Because someone believed he was bigger than his past and stronger than his greatest pain.

There is a little girl in America. She lives inside of the body of a 38 year old women. A women who, because of her past and her pain, had given up on herself and on life. But she found purpose in the story of a girl in The Congo named Yvette and a boy in Uganda named Norbert. Because of those children and many more, her greatest heartache became her greatest ministry. And Grace came full circle.

Because God never stopped believing in her. Because there is always purpose in our pain.

I am that little girl. I am that women

When I went to Congo almost three years ago now, I returned broken. I hardly left my room for three days. I had never seen hopelessness like that before. Child soldiers asked me to be their mothers. Mothers wanted to give me their daughters. In some areas of Congo, over half of the women have been raped. There are more child soldiers in Congo than anywhere else in the world. It has been deemed one of the worse places to be a child. There are over 6 rebel groups there and each month in the area of Goma alone, 150 are rescued from rebel forces. I had never seen children so traumatized.

A few months later a friend and I, Peggy Cox, founded eXile international with a dream of creating an art therapy program for war-affected children and former child soldiers. It has since blossomed into a wonderful mission of providing trauma care to hundreds of children on the ground through trips and supporting the work of local leaders, providing trauma care workshops, and being honored to be deeply involved in advocacy work in DC.

Within a few weeks of returning from Congo, I wrote a blog called “Looking Darkness in the Eye” In that blog I wrote about my wrestling with God. Where was He in all of this pain? I couldn’t find Him. I finally came to understand where He was. And it was beautiful.

He was beside of them when they were abducted. He was beside of them when they were being raped at the age of 8 by rebel forces. He was beside of them when they were forced to carry a pistol because they were too small to carry an AK47 at the age of 7. He was beside of them.

The question is not where is God. The question is where are we?

There is a monthly giving program that we have called SING that starts at $7 a month. It started with a question: How Does Your Life Sing? On our website you will hear Benjamin’s voice when you play the video. His father was killed in the wars of Congo. He says:

“When you begin living for something bigger than yourself you find your self. Your purpose. Your song.” And this he asks “Will you sing with us?”

And I want to ask you – will you Sing with us? With them?

We just returned from Congo a few months ago training around 100 local leaders and working with around 200 children. 24 of those were once child soldiers. Many of those have killed. Most of those do not want to return home for fear of being re-abducted again. All of them love God. Their dream is to return to their villages they fought in to begin peace clubs to teach others about forgiveness. When I asked them to draw their heart wounds – they drew pictures of guns, soldiers, dead bodies, and blood. They performed a 30 minute drama re-enacting their abduction from school, being shown how to use a gun, being forced to kill, slowly assimilating into rebel-hood, being hidden from the UN when attempted to be rescued. And finally? Being rescued and returned to society.

While praying to God about what to share with you, I started asking myself. What would they tell you? What would those 24 boys tell you ? What would Yvette tell you if she were here? What would Norbert say?

They would first tell you not to pity them. And I would double that. The children we work with have more strength and resilience than all of us combined. Please don’t pity them.

I often wonder what would happen if we began learning from those whom we feel we need to save. Outside of Jesus, they have become my greatest teachers.

Secondly, they would probably ask you to listen to them. To help them. To believe in them. I would encourage you to do the same.

Our dreams for these children are not just that they survive war, but that they become the leaders of peace and forgiveness in their communities because of what they have survived.

Frank Warren has a saying “It is the children that the world almost breaks who grow up to save it.” Our hope is that the children we work with change the course of war in their countries.

Because someone believed that they were bigger than their past and stronger than their greatest pain.

So as you watch this video and think about these stories, my wish for you is not that you are heavy hearted – but that you are excited about the opportunity to help the ending of one of these children’s lives look different than their beginning.

As you hear their stories or read about them on our blog I would ask you to learn from them. To hear them. To listen…..

His, b

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJ4HSnLf-P8

http://www.exileinternational.org

My Name is Bill. I have no legs. I am just fine.

2011-02-27T15:06:00.005-06:00

Sitting in quiet. Girls are in bed. Warm coffee to my side. Nothing but the music overhead putting them to sleep. I treasure time with them. I often wonder what normal life would look like for me had my path led me differently. Normal life could have easily led me into marriage again. Quickly. Years ago. Children. House. Dogs. Homework. Late nights with sick children. Rocking them. The feel of a baby snuggled up next to me. I crave that. And I'm not convinced it's not in my future. Not convinced that it is. That's the tricky part about surrender. It's not up to you. What "normal" women wouldn't want all of that? Some people envy my life. But would they if they lived it? Would they sacrifice what it would take to have it? Sometimes I envy their lives. Sometimes I don't. Somehow I believe there is room for both: The life of the mission field and the life of the family. Is that normal? No. Not even remotely. But it doesn't mean it's not possible. It just means it's harder, and

I am learning that we don't do hard very well in our culture. We do easy. We do quick. We do acceptable. We do normal. But hard and unselfish and humility and out of the ordinary. We don't do well. Why? Two reasons: We don't have to because we are Comfortable and We are Afraid. Simple as that.

There is a homeless man in Nashville who has no legs. He is around 60 years old. The night before I left to go to Haiti last year, it was raining. Hard. I was running to the bank for a last minute ATM cash run for travel needs. And I saw him. Barely able to see out of my window, I caught glimpse of him. He was in the corner of an old abandoned building, under an awning. Soaking wet. My mind immediately went to the Haitian people that I would be seeing from the earthquake. Hearing stories of amputated limbs with no anesthetic. Women. Children. Men. I was drawn to him. Turning around I drove up next to him and rolled down my window, "Are you ok? Do you need anything?"

"NO, Honey!" Big sweet grin, "I am just fine. Just trying to stay out of the rain a little bit." He was there in his wheelchair. Pants legs as ghosts below his knees. Nothing. He seemed helpless. And he was drenched. "Are you sure? Maybe I can take you somewhere or call someone who can take you somewhere dry and safe." "NO, Honey!" I am just fine" I left knowing that maybe he WAS fine. But I wasn't.

Something penetrated my spirit that night. Something deep in my soul. I knew there were new horizons that God was going to lead me into. And I was afraid. And I was uncomfortable. But I didn't care.

I returned from DR Congo last week. Over two saturated weeks of hearing stories of child abductions, crying tears of injustice for young girls who have been raped, abduction by rebel forces being re-enacted by the very children forced to be soldiers. Overwhelmed at the need we found there and bursting at the seams to put things in place to make that happen. Wonderful Weariness I call it. But it is wearisome nonetheless. Jetlagged sprinkled with an intense allergic reaction to African Scabies left me pretty much in a bed of misery (for me) for a week. First day back, behind at work, I dropped by RedBox at McDonald's on my way home to watch a movie as I caught up on things at home. Long day and I was tired.

I looked to my right. He was there. Same man. Same wheelchair. Same smile. I couldn't believe it was him! I stopped and smiled at him - of course he didn't remember me. Taking my movie, I walked over. It was cold.

"Do you need anything? Can I help you with anything? / "NO, Honey! I am fine! Might could use a cup of coffee. It's 49 cents inside. It may warm me up." / "That's all you need? No food? You aren't hungry?" /"NO, Honey! I am fine! Just a cup of coffee might be good to warm me up. It's 49 cents inside."

I go in and get him the largest cup of black coffee they had and took it back out to him. Hands miserably chaffed, he put his beer can down to grab the coffee. Face chapped and red. Disheveled. Joyful. Truly. "Thank you, ma'am!" I smiled at him in adoration.

"What is your name?" I asked. "Bill, my name is Bill. What's yours?" "It's Beth or Bethany. Either is fine." "Oh that 'Bethany' may be hard for me. But I can call you Beth." .... I would love that. I gave him a God bless you and went back to my jeep. Taking about 5 seconds to soak that in.

Sitting in my car. Just returning from one of the most dangerous places on earth to live, to help believe in and bring life 100s of children of war - I saw Bill. Where?Right in front of me. Where was he the night before I flew to Haiti? Right in front of me. I look down at my hands and I notice that, strangely, they are

Right in front of me.

I have understood the good samaritan like I have never in my life. There is one message in that story that screams to me. The Wounded One was no where but right in front of them. Every Single One of Them.

They did not have to search for their purpose or calling or passion in life. They just had to start with what was Right. In. Front. Of. Them...

But there was only one to come to pick him up, bandage his wounds, and lead him to safety. He didn't have to fly across oceans or battle customs or fear gun shots in the middle of the night. He just had to begin. And help the man. One person. At at time.

Right in front of him.

The reason we don't? For me - its because I am either looking past them at where I am going or feeling hopeless that a difference can be made. In our corporate mindset of making all things streamlined and running efficiently, we seem to forget that human nature trumps what is optimal. And Life happening doesn't fit well into spreadsheets.

You see, until we are in Nam and our legs are amputated in the war and the addiction to pain killers came upon us like a thief in the night and alcohol became our only friend because who wants to take care of a crippled man and, then, we find ourselves outside of McDonald's simply asking for a cup of coffee to keep us warm. If we can't find the answer to find a home and shelter and locate his family and set him up on disability and a rehabilitation center in order to make all things neat and tidy in our box of entitlement - then should we do nothing? If we cannot fix the broken pieces completely and perfectly - then should we just always let the chips fall where they may? And just where will they fall? Where?

I believe the answer is not even remotely found in making all things fit together perfectly. That's not our job or role. It's definitely our part to try to play in the answer. But the answer is also found in looking down at that moment to the man on the side of the road we are passing. The Jewish Man. The lonely lady in the elevator who is a single mom. The refugee center who needs someone to teach them English. The flower that would light up your wife's life for today. The second it takes to bend down and look into your child's face to say "You are important to me." Does it fix everything? Not a chance. But maybe it's not in the fixing.

Maybe it's more about the mending. The momentary mending that Jesus' love is heard the loudest and seen in the most radiant of colors.

"My name is Bill. I don't know if I will remember yours or not, ma'am." Me, smiling "You don't have to." Feeling that cup of coffee he allowed me to give him was much more of a treasure to me than it was to him. I say this often. Life is not easy doing this as a single women. Cravings for family and a partner and some sense of normality run deep. But there is one thing it is. One thing above any other. Worth it. At least for now. Oh, there in one more thing it is:

An Absolute Privilege. Such a privilege to be able to be the hands and feet of God. Pitiful as they may be. They are......

His, b